" After twenty years of periods of crippling depression, the idea of ever being depressed (or even emotionally unstable to any degree at all) again in the future seems utterly implausible! There is of course potential for regret at not experiencing Taking the Reins twenty years ago (when my depressive episodes began), but with the tools and strategies I now have at my disposal there is no place for regret (or any similarly damaging emotion) in my life.
" Taking the Reins includes something for everyone, and in my case I found that activities I would previously have shied away from engaging in quickly became second nature to me. I can see now that this was all part of the rapid shift in perspective that I experienced right from the start of the course. Situations and 'hurdles' which up until then would have caused me to naturally become introspective on the basis of unhelpful and limiting assumptions about myself instead presented themselves as openings and opportunities to restore emotional balance to my life.
" When I've since spoken about the course with friends I've referred to the experience on a few occasions as being like having a veil lifted from in front of my eyes, and this captures the essence of what it's about - it's very, very simple to lift the veil, and yet if you never realised there was a veil there in the first place you would presumably just plough on regardless, in a limiting state in which you were always likely to end up being an 'emotional victim' as soon as events didn't pan out the way your unconscious mind expected them to!
"Quite simply, I can't recommend Gill highly enough. She is the ideal trainer for a course of this nature because she has a very supportive and gently encouraging manner (something which is essential for dealing with people who are dealing with emotional upset in their lives) but is also firm enough to make sure that everyone participates fully, even in activities which they may find challenging in some ways." (Mark)
Until I did the course I felt as though my whole life had been a diet. My mum started me on a diet when I was around 5yrs old, and I think I realised then that food was an issue. I was a tubby child and always felt unattractive. In my teens I just worked hard at school and university to avoid having to go out to social situations where I might meet boys, because I felt utterly unattractive.
So my life, like my mum's, was a constant round of diets, yo-yoing from one to the next and stuffing myself in between, getting bigger and bigger. And I wasn't even enjoying the food I was stuffing in, but I didn't seem to be able to stop.
The course was a revelation. It helped me understand how my brain was in the habit of thinking unhealthily about my food and body. Gill taught me to do it not in a judgemental, angry way, but almost as an observer, so I could step back from the situation and really choose how I wanted to be in the future. Almost like writing a blueprint for life! I learned to 'Take the Reins' of my life! And it's fantastic! I used the process constantly for the first few weeks, and then I found it came more and more naturally to me. Now it's easy and natural for me to eat healthily. I can now make real choices about what I want to eat. I've thrown away the scales, the diet books and the calorie counters. I just tune into what I actually want, really enjoy eating it, and can stop when I've had enough. It's amazing! I'd always wondered how people could do that. Now I know. (Gail)
Nicky suffered from ME for 8 years, and then persistent fatigue which meant that she had to have several months off work
“Before I did the course I could just about manage 3 days a week work, but sometimes found even that a huge struggle. It left me with very little energy to have a life - to spend time with my partner, family and friends. I felt imprisoned within a body that just wasn't up to the job. I would think about things I wanted to do to and then realise I couldn't manage them. I felt really frustrated, stressed and angry. “
One month on: My health has been good, and I can see the difference that my frame of mind has on it. I have taken on a bigger role in one of my jobs which means bigger responsibility and workload and it feels exciting. I feel happier in myself and I can see how that benefits my relationships; especially with my partner. I’ve rediscovered my dry wit and good humour; which has changed and breathed fresh air into our relationship.
"The glass is certainly half full for me now....and I work at it every day. I am a lot more able to focus on the positives in my day and in my life. I’m experiencing a new happiness and am able to live in the present; I see and experience things that for years I have passed by not noticing ...and they give me great joy!
"I feel lighter and empowered to make difficult decisions. I feel confident that I now have a positive way of processing those old patterns and voices, and that I do have the power to steer my life the way I want it to go. I used to hear people talk about being their own best friend, which felt beyond my comprehension and out of my reach. But now I feel I can rely on myself so much more; I need a lot less reassurance and support from other people; I’m a lot more my own person! ...and it feels such a gift!"
One year on: I am now 7 months into my new job. For the first time I have a position of responsibility and autonomy which I am revelling in, and I feel very much in control. I am now confident enough to make big decisions and have faith in my judgement, I'm able to positively think through challenging decisions without panicking, and am able to judge when I need to sit back and look at the problem from a distance and when I need to talk something through with my colleague. I have clarity of thought which I have always envied other people for!
Taking the Reins has been the icing on the cake for me. I am now able to see, process and understand what I feel and need myself and I handle issues in a far less emotional way. I am far less reliant upon other people's help, emotional support and investment in me. I now feel that from within myself. I am more able to give to other people because I'm less absorbed by my own dramas, so my relationships are a lot healthier as a consequence."
Jo had been suffering from ME for a year
Two months on: I found the course and homework simple in the steps that needed to be taken, informative in regards to using a bit of common sense to overcome negativity in life and challenging in regards to putting in the practice to achieve the goals set.
I can now physically stop myself from thinking negatively and move over to positive thoughts. I still use Taking the Reins and the process is becoming easier with time and practice. I am now living a totally fabulous life!!! And I love it!!!! And I feel that any challenges that arise can be dealt with in a positive and enthusiastic manner.
I am starting my own business, building my own house, and I’ve booked 2 ski trips… who would have imagined only 2 months ago.. booking two ski holidays!!! Friggin brill!!!
One year on: All is awesome here! I am on the road touring around British Columbia, Canada looking for a place to settle and am having a whale of a time! Lots of camping and fishing and hiking !!! Very much on form. I'm not back to my old self.... I'm better than I've ever been!! Very healthy and energised and happy!
Charlie is 19. Her ME started 6 years ago. She’s been in a wheelchair for the last few years, unable to stand for more than a few minutes. She sent the wheelchair back within a week of doing the training.
A wonderful, interesting, exciting experience. After just the first session I was able to walk back to the guest house. The main thing was the new confidence in my body. I was still getting the pain symptoms an awful lot but by using the process I was able to get on anyway and do things because I knew then that I could, I was immediately free-er (if that’s a word!!) .
Within a few days I went on my first bike ride in over 4 years, a 4 hour walk, a football match and a shopping spree in Norwich! After a week I sent back my wheelchair. EVERYTHING has changed! Almost four weeks on I have hardly any symptoms that I have to use the process for now and feel so relaxed and calm. I know that I can do whatever I want.
It’s the best thing I've ever done and it has changed my life. The techniques I've been taught are just a great way to lead your life and I feel stupidly happy! Thanks a million and I'd recommend it to everyone.
ONE YEAR ON: Wow – what a difference a year makes! I took to the process right away and made very rapid progress. It was sometimes an incredible struggle with more than a few tears along the way, but I persevered. Becoming well and beginning to lead a normal life certainly brought fresh challenges, but I didn’t look back. After 3 months I suffered no ME symptoms ever and spent last summer enjoying my new-found health and doing lots of fun activities – going to theme parks, the beach, cycling and dancing. I enrolled on a full-time college course in September, which again was hard, simply getting used to living busy, long days and my body adjusting to a new demanding schedule! With process to help me, though, I knew I could do it. I also began my driving lessons and started a shop job.
Now, just before my one-year anniversary, I have arrived home after spending a fantastic two weeks in the USA including – through unforeseen circumstances – a week on my own in NYC!!
Alfie (13) Following an accident at 10 years old, Alfie was diagnosed with post-viral fatigue, then CFS/ME. He was out of school for 3 years
After 3 years of firstly CRPS and then CFS/ME I could not see how Alfie (now 13) would ever return to school, particularly through a phased return which he had come to hate, or to a normal family & social life. I did a lot of research through the internet, hospital and school, and a member of staff, whose daughter had done the Taking the Reins course, recommended Gill as a practitioner.
After speaking to Gill it became clear she would be right for us. Gill is so passionate about what she does. She is very professional and supportive in making sure the ‘fit’ is right. Gill was careful and also chatted to Alfie on the phone twice before deciding he was ready to participate on the course.
I got to stay in during the first day which I found very useful in supporting Alfie. As the main carer of a young person with CFS/ME you take on a complex role whilst supporting them and navigating them through the world of medical and educational professionals. We do what feels right at the time to protect our child but we also have to recognise when a strategy which has been necessary is no longer useful, so I had also got ‘stuck’ in dealing with this illness. I found this first day helped me with that. I had to challenge myself, step way back and deal with my role which needed shifting.
As expected the course was challenging, exciting & fascinating. It asks a lot of a young person. Alfie managed the first session and participated with it all. After the 45 minute drive home & with ‘homework’ to do Alfie did struggle, but he found the next morning he was ready to find out more.Alfie had a moment of realisation that ‘this could really work’ for him, he realised he could do it. The individual session was well targeted and really got things clear & practical. I could see a real change in him.
You (parent & child) take away so much useful knowledge from the course it really does move you on. But what is really impressive is the practical things your child can do to begin getting better. Understanding & living with ME/CFS can be so frustrating it is such a relief to have what feels like a clear set of practical guidelines your child can follow to move on from their illness. It’s like being locked away and then given the keys to unlock your own door and walk free. It is empowering. I saw changes in Alfie during the course, we saw a well person beginning to break through.
10 weeks later Alfie’s personal aim was to restart school full-time. Finishing the course on the Weds he decided to go back on the Monday. He arranged to meet friends on the way and walked to school with them. He has been doing this full time ever since and is still going strong despite the ups & downs we have to help him manage. Physiological symptoms of his illness have been disappearing gradually as he adjusts. Straight after the course we got Alfie a new bike which he uses every weekend. Alfie & a friend cycled just under 2 miles and spent 1 ½ hours doing the mountain bike trails. He loves showing off his press-ups, he does circuit training & rugby in PE
I found it hard to read these glowing accounts when considering the course. Lots of doubts & worries crept in. The accounts sounded so miraculous. So I would say there are still difficult times, it is a catalyst to change which you & your child have to be willing to engage with. The initial changes can be small but it is the start of a big shift. It takes determined & continuous effort but like rolling snow on flat ground the results quickly grow big and it’s so much fun to see it’s contagious. It’s a continuing journey which I am so enjoying,
I could cry at seeing Alfie now! I am so grateful Gill worked with him & me with such kind determination. I would say she is exceptional at what she does. The difference is I feel very secure that Alfie & I both know how to deal with the difficulties his illness caused & move forward. It’s knowledge for life.
Alfie made that huge shift, back to school & a normal day and has kept it going. It's like that was the real big change and since then I feel there is a constant, continuing shift, gradually the changes are still going on and slowly, slowly they're becoming more and more permanent.
6 months on Six months on & illness is most definitely in the past, Alfie has continued to spiral steadily upwards & keeps moving on. Now if he picks up a virus he just recovers normally. Alfie is energetic, goes out & about with friends as & when he wants, school is going really well, he is well motivated and copes with his work capably. Still enjoying the mountain bike track! Just as he wanted it to be, quite a laid back teenager. I now never think about how he will cope with anything he does or we plan to do as a family, it is an amazing thing & I am really grateful for that.(Liz, Alfie’s mum)
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